what's been weighing on my mind recently...

God's perfect Plan for us...
why is it so difficult for us to accept a good thing and let it fall into place? masochist much?
why are we so obsessed with being in control of our lives? we say we trust Jesus but as soon as something comes up FORGET about what He's trying to tell us, we need to do what WE think is right. i tend to do that myself. i act before i come to the Lord and ask if it's in his plan. maybe that's why things went so wrong so quickly for me? hmmm..

i have been trusting in him more lately,which is good. he takes care of me. it amazes me how he loved me first. before anyone else did,and after everyone else has stopped he'll still love me. he always takes me back,no matter how stupid and stubborn i am. he's cool like that.

" The Lord himself walks before you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.Do not be afraid;do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Faith. it's harder than it sounds.

~AD~

i know myself.when i get hurt or upset i totally shut down with EVERYONE. i have to force myself to not do that anymore and it's hard when you know at some point you WILL get hurt again.i've been figuring out that real friendship is giving someone more than enough of yourself to be able to completely crush you,but trusting them enough not to. that's love too. i'm also finding out that good or nice things i've done in the past come back tenfold. all those hours i sat and comforted or talked to these people they're now doing for me twenty times over. You can really see it when someone agrees to go run barefoot across train tracks,at 11:30 pm, in freezing rain with you. good things ARE coming out of this along with the bad. But God makes every situation work out in our best interests. He is such a benevolent God. that verse about the sparrows in matthew keeps coming back to me. If he takes care of these small birds so well,how much more will he bless me life? am i not more important to him than the birds? The assurance of His loving care for me is coming out in ways i never expected. our God is truely an Awesome God. *quotes Veggietales* and he loves you VERY much. =)
P.S. i have no idea why but a LOT of guys were hitting on me today. it totally freaked me out. and this one chick from seattle just told me i have a nice stomach ;) rofl. she's cool though so it's ok. hahahah.

AH'V BEAN TAAGGED! omg O_O

Here are the rules. (1) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. (2) People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules. (3) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. (4) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1) I am OCD only about the stupid things.like the milk lid. i have to have the little ringy off and in the garbage before i can drink any of it. >.<
2)i get a Chicago accent only when i'm REALLY angry.
3)I have predicted two perfectly healthy people's deaths.correctly. <-scariest thing ever.
4)the first music i listen to defines how i will feel for the rest of the day.
5)i can't write in any type of journal for more than three days.except the joint one i have with Tina.we've had that since June.
6)At sometime i have gotten so mad i see red at each of my best friends.and none of them know!
7)if no one wakes me up,no matter when i went to sleep, i WILL sleep till 11:45am.
8) I've been security on 2 different occasions.yes me.ashlily who took 3 years of BALLET and has barely any mucles to speak of! i don't know what Rick was thinking hahah.

haha uhm.... i tag......Tina,Mesa,Jaho,Petey,Derek,Tom,Danny,aaaaaand... Eric! kbye.

well then.

Well,it's been a while huh? yes.i have an excuse in hand.We got a new computer and i lost all of my links! plus i never bothered to try and remember my user name or password... *cringe* uhm ok update... i've been done with driver's ed for like...ever now(it HAS been a while since update) but as soon as i finished we had car problems and then also my dad has been working a LOOOOOOOT recently,and he's the only one in our household who can legally take me driving.therefore i only have about 2 hours logged.yes.i know i suck.hah.ummm pretty much the same deal around here,youth group is slowly getting worse sadly.right now the only reasons i'm going are for Dave's Lesson and to see some of my good friends.everything else is just...not...like it was.it used to be fun but..not so much anymore.well there's no use complaining about it so.uhmmmm i'm finding out i have some of the best friends ever which is pretty amazing.God is working so awsomely in our lives (Mesa you know what i'm talkin about,lyl).Today was pretty fun,my dad is on vacation till tuesday (i think) so we all went to the movies today.We saw Harry Potter (5th) which was pretty good.the "action" parts were actually better than expected. Ever since i found out the Dumbeldore is apparently gay i just can't look at it the same way. i don't think the charecter was planned to be gay i actually really think she just said it to get more publicity.which worked.there is really nothing in the books at ALL pointing that.it's really stupid in my opinion.what a way to ruin an interesting story,really now.bwt that's exactally what it is a STORY.reading/watching this stuff doesn't make me any less of a Christian. it's a book.as long as you know that none of it's real,no type of magic works,it's just something thought up in this woman's mind then i think you're ok.Just my opinion but hey.OOOOKKK i think that's long and rant-ish enough for now. love you all (cept for you people whom i don't) jk,lol. FIN.

Ouch

I <3>

dude the zombies are swarming,can we get some spray or something?

So yes i am alive(exlamation point)i've just been doing...other things*innocent look* umm yeah,i'm not gonna elaborate on those things ;) anyway,i'm now almost done with driver's ed.I just have to wait two months and get my FIFTY(50) hours in. oh and wait until my b-day which wil be after the two months anyway,lol.I finally gave in and got a myspace =( i know,i suck...majorly...extremly...sooper sooper major extremly.And even worse that's now how i communicate with most people (which is why i've been neglecting e-mail and this bloggy) well that and IM.But yeah anyway don't worry i still love you! (speaking with my poor blog) also i'm excited because VBS is coming uuuup(exclamation point) it's in july(exclamation point) AND(2exlamation points) OH OH AND(ex points again) CORNERSTONE(3 ex points) ohmygee(ex point again)lol,i love C-stone.see,you only have to go once and you're hooked.lol,ok here's some other stuff i love.
1) Smarties
2)hugs from behind,the sneaky kind ^_^(aka "Glomps")
3)getting snail mail,lol
4)When people tell me they love me =)
5)Being sarcasticly hilarious
ok that's all. i'll post again soon,kk. and Elyse,my blogging trooper,i am going to e-mail you tomorrow seing as it's 11:13 and my brother is forcing me off the compy XP cyas doll.
P.S. it keeps telling me exclamation points are not allowed,thus the (ex point)s.yeah,lame i know

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dude,i have almost nothing to post! except that i'm now in possibly the worst driver's ed class in the history of the earth. My teacher is sooooo wierd/creepy/insane. And she loves geese...with a passion. It's scary really. Yeah, our video in class was..... OPRAH!! oh my fregging gee areyoukiddingme?? you ask.the answer would be...no. anyways...you people who haven't e-mailed me in a while E-MAIL ME!!!!! lol,ttfn!